From Failure to Success in 10 Seconds
Pay attention to the words you are using when you talk about an experience you’ve had. How do the words you use make you feel? What is important about that?
We think in words, and the words we use have an impact on us. Simply said: “Words are how we think, stories are how we link.” (Thank you, Christina Baldwin, for saying this so elegantly). If your story is not working for you, find another, more empowering perspective. Change your thinking to take back your power. This takes you from being stuck in failure to success in just 10 seconds or less!
Furthermore, choose the stories that are foundational for where you want to go and who you want to be.
Why is this important?
“We are carriers of our own stories, neurologically wired to speak and think in narratives. Connections are made through the way we tell our story, present ourselves or make sense of our experience. Every experience we have is put into a narrative and creates the foundation for how we link one experience to the next.” – Paraphrased excerpt from Christina Baldwin’s talk on Story your Future this week.
Her words not only inspire me, – they hold a whole world of truth. Just think back to a recent experience you’ve had. How do you talk about it? What words come naturally for you to use? What angle do you use? Then check in and ask: What does how you tell your story say about you? Could you change something to make it more empowering?
What about you?
Are you a person who retells a story where you come out as the clumsy one, the one who always messes up – the “typically me” role, the “this is who I am”? If so, then stop for a minute. Is it true? How does it serve you? What if you tweaked it and looked at the experience from a different perspective? What might you discover that would help you step into your power instead of downplaying yourself?
Changing your story
Change your story, change your life. What does that really mean? It means that you and I, we need to take charge of our story. Your story is yours, and yours only! We can change it if it does not help us be the best we can be. If it holds us down to play small and live in fear. Even if we live with trauma or have paved our way through it.
We can change our story and thus how we carry our life experiences. Trauma can be transformed into victory by the way we choose to see it. We cannot do much about what has happened to us, but we have the ability to choose how we want to be with it, see it, make sense of it and live with it.
Transforming trauma into victory as in “I am a survivor, a warrior! I am not a victim!”. Claim it, believe it, live it! Take what has happened – when you are ready – and turn the trauma into a transformational experience. This is so incredibly powerful! It changes everything in our lives from how we walk through our world, how we engage with others, to how we see ourselves and the choices we make. Our life changes as we put the power back in our hands and live our lives from the inside out, in charge, standing tall and with a heartfelt compassion for the people around us, the world we live in and ourselves. It helps us belong.
Get clear, shine a light on what is hidden to make a different choice.
So, how do we do this?
It begins with self-awareness and self-reflection. Catch the words you are thinking to discover patterns. How does your thinking shape your narratives? Journal writing is one way to find out more, coaching or therapy is another. Wherever we create space for a new awareness, you with a pen and a notebook, me on a keyboard putting words on a page, or interpersonally when we are in a conversation, opportunities for clarity are created. Getting clear, shining a light on what is often hidden from us, gives us the opportunity to make a different choice. When we begin to claim our story, magic happens. Changing your story and thus changing your life is really about becoming conscious of how we carry our life experiences. There is tremendous power, choice, and healing in this!
From autopilot to real attention
Many of the stories we tell go on autopilot without us paying real attention to them, easily buried in our everyday busy life. However, some stories refuse to stay buried. They surface again when we are ready for a particular insight, or memory. Get curious! Which stories keep surfacing? What kind of narrative is not leaving you in peace or hides in the corners of your story? Search underneath the many layers. Look at how you are telling it to find the clues. You know a story is not done with you if it keeps popping up, calling your attention, bugging you or being the default one you tell yourself and others.
When you are ready to look beneath the surface a gift is waiting for you. Look closer and be curious. What might you discover and learn about yourself?
The best way to predict the future? Invent it!
The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves are as important as the stories we tell to make sense of an experience. What we think and believe about ourselves is reinforced in how we tell our stories through the words we use. It can be very closely connected to a role we have taken on, – or have been placed in by others. Keywords to look for are “always”, “never”, “too much”, “too little”, “typical you” and labels. When you find that you are sick of your role, tired of your story it is high time to create a new one.
Create your future
A new, empowering story creates a leap into the life to come! As you change your story you bring what was into the present moment and create a direct path into your future. Thus, you directly change the expectations of your own capacity moving forward.
Look closely at how you edit your stories. Is what you are telling yourself and others the good, true, beautiful version? The one that empowers you? Or the one that has you turn out less of who you are; an excuse for not showing up?
From failure to success
Tweak your story and change your thinking to take back your power. Practice discovering your thought patterns and before you know it you’ll be a master at finding the empowering version of any story.
Choose the stories that call you forth to be the best version of you. Learn, practice, apply!
Remember: What you think impacts how you feel and how you see yourself. And as long as you think, think BIG!