When Your Story Does Not Work For You Anymore

My story is that I want to live my best life. I want to grab life and make the most out of every opportunity. I want to stretch, be bold, be silly happy and hugely successful. I want the best relationships ever and I want to feel throughout every fiber of my being that I am exactly where I want to be. Of course, I do! But I can’t.

My life does not need perfection. That is not what I am after. I want to feel throughout my heart, body, mind, and soul that I can live my best life today, tomorrow and for the rest of time!

And I can’t.

Because what if I do?

What if…?

What if I live my best life? What if my best life is yet to come? This is where my inner narratives trick me up and block my path.

“What if you live your best life, happy and fulfilled as never before? That would mean that your life is better today than it was when your oldest son was alive. That does not work, does it? You cannot be happier when he is not here than you were when he was alive. That would mean you love him less.”

I know, I can see logical flaws screaming at me. All well-meant advice explaining how and why this narrative is absolutely insane to live by. Yet a part of me does live by it. Particularly that last sentence has kept me stuck for too long. Like I am holding my breath waiting for his passing to pass.

How life was supposed to be has collided brutally with the reality of what is.
We all have our versions of how life, work, relationships, etc. are supposed to be. When it does not turn out that way, it can completely throw us off our game.

The thing about inner narratives is that they can be sneaky. They exist beneath the surface and whisper so silently that we cannot really hear them until something causes us to stop, ponder and take a deeper look. Inner narratives form stories that can be very persuasive; letting us believe this is who we are and that what we are telling ourselves is the truth.

Stop, listen and shed light on your story!

We can only determine if and how what we tell ourselves is working for us or not when we stop to listen and shed light on our stories. It is time to work through the (sometimes) very messy and tangled patterns of thought that have kept us blocked, stuck and drained of energy.

When your story does not work for you anymore, it is time to close a door and create a new story that will support you living the life you are meant to live.

Living half a life will not bring my son back. Nor your loved ones. Nor can we live their life. We must live ours. It is time to break free and create a new story.

I do want to live my best life. One step at a time. I am committed to work through my fear and find within myself the courage to set new intentions that are aligned with who I want to be – the one I am when I am at my best.

It feels terribly scary but also wonderfully filled with life and potential!

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Let me fall
Let me climb
There’s a moment when fear and dreams must collide

Someone I am is waiting for courage
The one I want
The one I will become will catch me

Let Me Fall from Cirque Du Soleil