Women Leaders

The Double Standard of Critical Leadership

For centuries, men have been the providers, and women the nurturers. These roles, while once necessary, have shaped patterns of behavior, expectations, and identity that persist even today. But we are disrupting those old patterns, creating new roles, and claiming new territories—and that is not done easily. There is bound to be pain, confusion, conflict, insecurity, and even a lack of skills as we navigate these shifts.

Changing entrenched systems is complex, and it affects us all. However, there are ways to move through this. It begins with creating constructive cultures where everyone—regardless of gender—is aware of their impact and learns how to navigate effectively and efficiently into new ways of thinking and interacting.

The Good Girl Syndrome and Its Impact

In my work with leaders, I've seen how the Good Girl Syndrome—a tendency to prioritize being liked over being impactful—still shapes women's leadership journeys. One senior executive I coached recently shared how she spent years softening her feedback and critiques, wrapping them in apologetic language, only to see her male peers advance faster by being direct and unambiguous.

Breaking free from this isn't just about women changing; it's about all of us challenging outdated norms. The path forward is more complex than simply telling women to "let go of the need to be liked" or asking men to "invite women in." Such oversimplified solutions overlook the deep-seated cultural and systemic challenges at play. Women leaders often find themselves navigating a complex web of expectations: they must demonstrate strength without being labeled aggressive, show empathy without being seen as weak, and offer criticism without being dismissed as difficult. Meanwhile, male leaders grapple with their own inherited assumptions and systemic privileges, often unaware of how deeply these influence team dynamics and decision-making processes.

What we need is a more nuanced understanding of how gender dynamics shape leadership behaviors and perceptions. This includes examining how:

• Organizational structures often reinforce traditional leadership models

• Informal networks and mentoring relationships impact leadership development

• Different communication styles are valued or devalued in leadership contexts

• Performance evaluations may contain hidden biases about "appropriate" leadership behavior

The goal isn't to eliminate differences between masculine and feminine leadership approaches, but rather to create environments where diverse leadership competencies can coexist and complement each other. This requires ongoing reflection, dialogue, and conscious effort from leaders of all genders.

Creating Cultures That Embrace Critical Thinking

The solution lies not in asking women to adapt to male leadership styles, but in creating environments where diverse approaches to critical thinking are valued. This includes:

Creating feedback protocols that focus on the content of the critique rather than the delivery style Establishing clear criteria for evaluating strategic input, removing gender-based biases Developing leadership teams that actively seek out and value diverse perspectives Training managers to recognize and challenge their own biases about "appropriate" leadership behaviors.

Moving Forward: A Call for Change

What will it take to stop asking if women can lead critically and start ensuring they will? What if we celebrated women for being provocateurs, challengers, and unapologetically critical when needed? What if we encouraged women—and men—to step into leadership with their full voice, balancing strength with humanity?

The path forward requires conscious effort from both individual leaders and organizations. It demands recognition of these double standards and active work to dismantle them. More importantly, it requires creating spaces where critical thinking is valued regardless of its source.

If you want to explore whether this dynamic is present in your workplace, reach out to me or make an appointment. There are solutions to these challenges, and the first step is understanding how to create environments where everyone can thrive!

Transform your leadership effectiveness through powerful narrative development. Book a discovery call for executive coaching that strengthens your leadership story and organizational impact.